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  • My Patreon launch!

    2016 - 12.14

    Hey there!

    So I’ve officially launched a Patreon page! If you don’t know what that is here’s a little spiel of what it’s all about:

    “Patreon was developed to help artists live a life creating their art. For me that is music. I’ve been making videos on YouTube since 2009, my channel is filled with covers and original songs. I also teach music and perform regularly which I am very grateful for, but ultimately I would love to make a living off of writing, recording and performing my music.
    This is where you come in- If you are a fan of my work and want to help me towards my goal you can! For as little as you want, even the smallest amount will have a great affect on these goals. I will have perks for you as a patron of my work as well but you will also have my eternal thanks <3"

    If you become my patron on Patreon you can do so for as little as $1/month. The more you donate the more perks you get, for example $2/month will get you MP3's of everything I create!

    Even these small amounts will have a big impact on me. If you are a fan of the videos I release please consider becoming a patron! You can spend as little as you like, move to different payment options or opt out at any point!

    I'm pretty excited thus far! I don't know how successful it will be but I figured I'm releasing these videos anyway, what's the harm in seeing if some of my supporters are willing to pay a bit to help me further my ambitions!? I appreciate any and every form of support, even watching the videos. So thanks to those who have donated and thanks to everyone who watches :)

    Much love <3
    Ssmiley Ssmile

    Quarterly Update

    2016 - 11.19

    Hey kids!

    I am horrible at updating my website it seems. Life! lol So here is an update into the happenings of Kayla:

    I had a rough patch earlier this year but got back on the positivity train and got my ass back in gear. My comedy band spent the whole summer touring with 3 different Fringe Festivals in Western Canada, which was a whole experience of it’s own! Full of ups and downs, we learned a lot and got a lot out of it.

    I’ve been really trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and say yes to every opportunity that comes my way. I worked with a band doing a ‘No Doubt’ tribute, I did an improv show and I was involved in a project called “Time Machine” recently that was musical show with a story. We performed 28 songs from 1965-1975, had an amazing 11 piece band and I was ‘The Girl’ in the love story- we sold out 4 shows!

    So far 2016 has definitely been exciting in the musical realm, I’m very grateful for all the work I got and I had SUCH an amazing time with every endeavor. In terms of my personal life it’s been a roller coaster. This was my last summer in my 20′s and fast approaching in the new year lays a new chapter- 30!
    I fully realize it’s just a number and that my 30′s will just be a better more educated 20′s but it’s certainly causing me to question a lot of things in my life and ponder what I want from this point forward.

    I absolutely plan on continuing on the musical path and my goals are to work harder to pursue making more of a ‘living’ just off of writing, recording and performing.

    So there you have it, lots and changed and in the same breath- not much! haha

    If you’re reading this you probably have been following me on this journey in some capacity online (YouTube likely) and I want to say my thanks to you. Thanks for listening to what I’m creating and a special thanks to everyone who comments and reaches out to express beautiful comments about my music. You have no idea how much it support of any kind means to me <3

    Hope you keep listening and following me!

    Ssmiley Ssmile :)

    Spring is in the air!

    2016 - 03.31

    Well here in Canada spring is started to show her beautiful face!
    It was a very mild winter actually, very lucky but I can’t say I’m not still so happy to see all the snow nearly melted, the sun out until almost 8 and the temperatures get in the pluses!
    Lots has happened in a few months that for sure! My other project released a new album, applied and got into 3 fringe festivals that will take our whole summer and we’ll be heading back to Toronto end of April for another fest! Very exciting stuff :)
    I’ve been doing lots of writing on my own and figuring out where I want to take these songs. Recording them better is a goal but more so recording with some other musicians to fill them out is an even bigger goal. Then performing some would be great too!
    My time is also now borrowed from another person- sort of smitten with a boy who I quite like ;) Hard sometimes to stay focused on your own work when you want to spend your time frolicking and having fun! A delicate balance.

    So as the sun warms this side of the world up I’ll be writing music, performing, teaching, traveling, walking my dogs, lying in the sun, getting outdoors and getting to know another person- sounds like the makings of a good year ahead!
    Here’s my newest song, written on a ukelele which really switches things up for me who usually writes and plays only piano- very happy sounding of course.
    It’s about a boy <3
    Ssmiley Ssmile :)

    Comfortable Autumn

    2015 - 10.26


    So still back in the home country of Canada, I have to say the change of seasons has really taken it easy on us! This fall has been surprisingly comfortable and warm. Haven’t had a real snow yet (knock on wood) or any crazy weather. I know the winter is coming and the days are getting shorter but I read we’re getting El Nino so fingers crossed!

    Other than the weather ( which really affects my life-clearly) I’ve been working hard on a number of things! I just performed a show with my friend at a local venue which included Beach Boys covers, as well as other bands like Foo Fighters, No Doubt, the Beatles and I performed a number of new originals I wrote!
    I was extremely excited to play this music which we’ve been rehearsing all summer. It was a very busy night and we had a lot of support from friends and family!

    I’ve also been making a video blog on a new channel “Lawja Williams”, a nickname bestowed on me long ago, that’s a comedy blog. I’m doing a playlist called “Reasons Why I’m Still Single” which are short videos of the ridiculous things I do. I completely realize that it’s barely related to why I’m still single but it’s fun! I’m embracing my weird and sometimes annoying qualities and laying it out there for you to get a laugh and for me to play!

    I’m still working hard with my comedy band “The Dirrty Show”. We’re just looking into recording a new album and all the fun things that go along with that a.k.a a shit ton of work! We’re applying to a bunch of festivals and looking into less performances but bigger, better shows, quality over quantity.

    I also teach voice/piano lessons so I have to spend time planning and working at that as well. So lots going on! Trying to keep new covers/originals coming for my music channel and I’m on a mission to write and create as much as possible. I’ve already wrote 4 or 5 new songs this month. Not all amazing and not all I will release but it’s good to keep that tool sharp. I’d also really like to try stand up comedy on my own but that’s a whole other ball game!

    So busy busy as usual. Creating, booking, planning, writing, performing, funny-ing :) And in my ‘spare’ time watching some TV series I love (write now the Office then Parks & Rec), cooking food (which I love way too much), doing yoga, writing journals, spending time outside with my dogs, hanging with friends when possible and occasionally going on some random dates..but not often because I live in ‘truck nut’ territory where the men jack their trucks up high and hang testicles from the back.. so yeah!

    Here are a couple videos
    1) part one of my comedy playlist
    2) a new Beach Boys cover

    Ssmiley Ssmile! :)

    Summer after Summer

    2015 - 08.05

    Hey folks!

    Just to preface this post, I just wrote an entire huge post here and then I f-ed up and lost it all (HA!) makes a person wanna go crazy!
    So here I go again let’s see if I can remember what I just wrote LOL

    I apologize for the lack of blogging, clearly lots has happened since the last post.

    I am back from Australia after an amazing half a year. Due to my financial situation as well as it getting bitterly cold we decided to return home, among other reasons. It was a true growing experience. I learned a lot about myself, I may have had two very good friends there with me but I was very much alone for the first time in my life. I discovered a part of myself I had sort of lost in the shuffle of life. A part of myself that resonated with my 17 year old self who very much lived life to the fullest, had a lot of focus and drive for music. Not that I haven’t had passion for music through these years but I definitely put it on the back burner in some respects following a love that fell apart. So on this journey half way around the world I found I still had so much love for music and rediscovered it.
    While in Australia my comedy band probably played around 80 shows in a very short time trying to network and get our foot in the door. It paid off as we ended up getting into the Melbourne International Comedy Festival! Not our own show but still a solid opportunity!
    Once home we played for a month straight getting paid gigs again (which didn’t exist often down under). We then took a much deserved break from the show and each other for July and spent time with our families. I went on a road trip- Griswald style- with my mom, dad & brother. We drove down to Idaho, Washington and back through British Columbia and had the time of our lives. My family and I have cry-laughing sessions with each other, no wonder I have the sense of humour that I do :)

    I’m so happy to be home surrounded by the endless support of my family and amazing love of our friends. We made some lifelong friends in Australia, but the fact that we have a community of 70-100 very good friends who would do anything for us is frankly unbelievable and hard to find.

    Since I’ve returned I’ve been jamming with a good friend on some of my own originals and covers (of course including Beach Boys) that I can’t wait to perform! I’ve also been writing a lot of new songs and recording again which is one of the greatest pleasures for me. Music provides a high in life like very few things can. When I find new song that gives me shivers, I latch on and can listen to it on repeat for months (sometimes for years!). One of these songs happens to be “Aquaman” by Walk The Moon. I found this song back in December when it came on my friends iPod and I fell in deep! The only thing I can do when that happens is make a cover of my own :)

    Enjoy and I promise to post more often (even though I always say that!).
    Whoever you are reading this, thank you! Your support means more than you know <3

    Ssmiley Ssmile :D

    Australia Adventures- January

    2015 - 02.02

    Hey there :)

    I always say hi as if I’m writing this to someone but I’m mostly using this as my journal while I’m away from home..anywho here are some tales from January 2015 spent in Melbourne otherwise known as the goon chronicles!

    Quick recap on Christmas, it was lovely spent having a BBQ, on the beach with thousands of other people in Santa hats, drinking $3 wine and playing horrible drunk piano-it was awesome fun :)

    Then New Years was spent with 2 girlfriends who came down from Adalaide. We rode shopping carts down the road, ran into the only other friends we had in the country, went with them to a house party then walked what felt like miles to another house tried to played drinking games but we’re too drunk. Put our feet in a cold hot tub, tried warming up in a shower, fell down, fell asleep- another success!

    Most of our days in early to mid January were spent at our temporary home in Thornbury playing up the river down the river (card game), drinking cheap wine and trying not to get skin cancer. It’s true the sun here is dangerously deceiving. It must be true there is less ozone here cuz we’ve got burns in minutes and not realized. We’ve gone through more sunscreen then predicted and I’ve taken to giant sun hats.

    January 6th was my birthday, a summer birthday for a change :) We made delicious nachos and went out to a couple bars to check out the scene. It was a Tuesday so nothing too crazy was going on. We did manage to steal a sombrero from a bar and the number 9 from a gas station and make a friend.

    The summer so far in Melbourne hasn’t been overly hot however there were a few days of plus 40 (almost typed minus out of Canadian habit lol). The days in the plus 40s is about as debilitating as the days of minus 40s back home. You can’t really leave your house, you have to shut every Window and curtain and hole yourself up inside and if you leave the house even to walk down the house you pack a backpack of survival items (water and suncreen).

    We realized it’s a really small world. We met a comedian from Toronto who we had many mutual friends with as well as a guy from Calgary who’s in an improv troupe there who knew the girl that runs the improv troupe we work with. One degree of separation halfway round the world-so random! We met another comedian who was living in Edmonton for the past year but who’s from Aus and we didn’t meet him until we got here. . How bizarre.

    We went to the Melbourne Museum which was cool, we’ve been playing at some cool comedy rooms around the city getting our name out there and making some connections.

    Got frustrated one night because we’d been trying to get on the same open mic for 4 weeks but it’s a random draw to get on and we haven’t randomly got drawn yet. So in our disappointment decided to make the best of the night. Grabbed and box of goon, took the guitar and headed to the beach on and very warm night. Met up with a friend played some songs, drank, peed in the ocean, made friends with other skinny dippers on the beach, danced to the maccarena with no pants, and motorboated a woman on the beach who lived in Toronto for a while and liked us for our Canadian accents. Oh what a night!

    Went on a lez cruise ship for a night where I ate the equivalent of 3 pizzas and danced the night away with some lovely ladies. Went to the Australia Day Parade in Melbourne (which is just a people March no floats!) And they just call it Straya Day. Played a show that night- who puts Canadians on the Aussie Day show? Lol but it was fun.

    We had a few downs in our January journey. We’ve been relying on Air Bnb for our living month to month and the day before we were supposed to move into our January place the guy cancelled on us. Luckily we found a last minute place but not in an area we ever wanted to live.. so we decided since we didn’t really want to spend much time here (not just cuz the area, but because it’s literally called Tokyo Manner. My bedroom is a close they but into a small bachelor pad apartment) that we would travel up the other coast to the great barrier reef and cross another item off the bucket list!

    So we’re gearing up for that trip in 2 days. In the meantime we got word our Feb to march monthly rented was also canceled! Getting quite frustrated with people illegally subletting there places without their landlords permission.. regardless there was some moments of tension and near homelessness. Luckily the universe always creates challenges as well as opportunities. So we’re all good not homeless.. for now ;)

    Along the way, I’m learning lessons on patience, understanding and independence. For the most part I don’t feel too homesick, not to say I don’t seriously miss my family and friends but rather don’t feel the need to cry about it. Finding my backbone a bit and seeing that I can literally do anything. I’m not helpless and I don’t have to depend on anyone but myself.

    I haven’t found work yet but did get a response to my dog walker ad and I’m currently walking little Henri a 10 yr old jack Russel mix 3 times a week. So happy to have a little pooch to take care of, I do desperately miss my dogs.

    So that’s basically January, really looking forward to February. This trip is going to be beautiful. Then buckling down to work hard in preparation for the comedy fest and getting a bit more settled.

    Thanks for following my adventures whoever you are :)

    Ssmiley Ssmile!

    Merry (Aus) Christmas! December 2014- First month in Australia!

    2014 - 12.24

    Hi folks,

    So it hasn’t even been a whole month here in Australia and yet it feels like months. It’s a lot like Canada so in ways not much of an adjustment but in other there’s so much change.

    We arrived on Dec. 5th after 3 planes, a 15 & 1/2 hr flight (torture!) and almost 24 hrs of travelling. We stayed in an area of Melbourne called Richmond for our first week. I loved it there! It had so many shops, cafés and restaurants and was only about a 15 min tram ride into the main city. In the first week we explored our area a and the city. Downtown Melbourne is awesome! There are hundreds of people buzzing around and endless things to see and do. I can’t recall the street name but there’s one alley that is lined with small bakeries and cafés, we don’t have anything like that at home. One alley is covered in graffiti but the most artistic graffiti I’ve ever seen layered on top of each other, you could look at the art for hours. We checked out China town, which is massive and had a delightful lunch at a Viatnamese restaurant. They have it decorated for Christmas at the moment with rows of lights and bells hanging. One street has a display of I guess animatronics, it’s the 3 bears in a winter setting and you walk from window to window following the story. They also have an amazing light show using a projector on the city hall building which is so trippy!

    We had fun seeing the different going ons of downtown and we decided before we left after the first week to rent a campervan and explore the countryside and sights outside the city. We took our van (named Elvis because of the mural painted on it) and headed up the great ocean road looking to arrive in Adelaide then head back.

    The first night was spent driving up the ever winding and turning hillsides just off the coast between Geelong and Apollo Bay. It was dark so we couldn’t see a lot but it was pretty fun flying around in the back of the van :) I woke up on the tent on top of the van just feet away from a river overlooking a field of cows, palm trees and foothills in the distance. It was quite beautiful.

    We set off that day and ended up going to the Gibsons steps which overlook the twelve apostles, huge formations of the coast that are separated. It was pretty beautiful on that beach. It was pure sunshine and gold sand, blue waves that blended perfectly with the sky. The crazy thing is in the 20-30 min walk we did down to the beach and I had my back exposed to the sun and got a pretty bad burn, and on the backs on my knees. I’ve heard there’s less ozone here so you burn quicker and so far it seems to be true. We’ve been all about the sunscreen, sunglasses and hats!

    We then drove to the tourist area to view the twelve apostles which was crazy, so many people but we got a great view, breathtaking is the only description.
    From there we drove to the Princess Margaret Rose caves just past Nelson. It was 86 steps down to these insanely huge caves. It was quite the sight!
    From there we went to Mount Gambier which is an extinct volcano that now holds the bluest lake, literally the bluest water you’ve ever seen! We camped out a night in Panola and met a couple from far win who were so nice and friendly, we had a great visit! Outside of Panola is the Coonawarra wine county where you can just do winery after winery for miles. We did a bunch of tastings which was so interesting, totally different flavors from the Okanagan wine country in B.C.

    After many wonderful wine tastings we headed to a “free” camp site in Murray Bridge. It was technically us squatting on the lookout of the town. There was one other truck parked on the hill which was only moderately creepy because it was a guy by himself listening to what sounded like Barbara Streisand. When we said to each other after 3 hrs of him sitting in his truck “I wonder what this guy is doing? Is he camping out in his truck or is he gonna leave” his truck started up and he drove off. Then we got paranoid and started making up ridiculous situations of the crazy things that could happen to us on this unlit hill all alone. Needless to say nothing happened but we still went to bed knives in hand and with a plan :P

    Next day we headed for Adelaide and stayed with my friend Kristols friend there. Adelaide included stopping at a little Germany town with some of the oldest cutest European looking shops and buildings, we did a small set at a comedy show called the Rhino Room- great response really fun room. We went to the Barossa wine valley there even though in some areas there were some fires. Again great selection of wines, sparkling reds (which we don’t have in canada), ports, meads and reislings that are all so different! We had a nice dinner out and we sat around telling stories and laughing.

    The day we left Adelaide we will went to the beach and splashed around in the ocean, we should have went swimming in it that day as it was the nicest water and warmest conditions on this journey but we had a plan to make it half way back to Melbourne the evening.
    We made it to the little town of Nhill and camped with hundreds if not thousands of chirping cockatoos. There was bird shit everywhere and swooping birds everywhere haha! That night we decided to drink some of our wine and play cards but needed to play in the laundry room as we didn’t have a lantern. We got a little tipsy in the Nhill laundry room and were joined by a mouse who made a nest in the washing machine. NEAT!

    Next day we headed from there and headed towards what I called death valley. It’s really the Grampians, a mountain range that had some really bad forest fires hence the burnt and dead looking forest (that smelt like Indian spices). We drove through the creepy trees and winding hillsides to the MacKenzie Falls, a very pretty waterfall that you can hike 2 hours to see if you’re ambitious. We just checked it out on the lookout and headed out again. Back down the mountain side and 2 kangaroos later we aimed for our next campsite and huge and lovely one in Anglesea back on the great ocean road. Our campsite was a one minute walk from the ocean. A beautiful site to see and a wonderful long walk when the tide is out. We enjoyed 2 days there and finally found our way back to Melbourne and dropped Elvis off back at the depot.

    A month house rental awaited us in the Thornbury suburb. A wonderful woman who owned it was going home to the U.K for Christmas for a month so we’re here until the 20th of Jan. It’s a quiet neighborhood, we have a little cat to take care of and a garden filled with rosemary, lavender, mint and dill! There’s been a lot more walking then we’re used to and figuring our of public transit since we don’t have our own vehicle to drive here. We’ve already done a bunch of shopping for our “Canadian Aussie Christmas” which entails a BBQ of hamburgers, fries, corn, salad vanilla coke and $3 bottles on wine :D We’re also hoping to make it to a beach and have to most opposite Christmas then what we’d have at home. It doesn’t feel like Christmas Day without any snow. Feels like Canada Day or something in July haha.

    I’ve gone through my bouts of missing home, my family and friends and shed some tears now and then but luckily in this day and and age we have the technology to keep connected much easier.

    So Merry Christmas (Merry Christmas Eve to those living a day in the past from us haha!) This is just the start of my great adventure and it’s been everything I hoped so far. I’ll keep a monthly “journal” for mostly myself and my mom haha but maybe there are others interested as well.

    Much love and a hot sunny Christmas greeting from Australia!!

    Life Change: In 2 days I move around the world!

    2014 - 12.01

    Hello friends,

    So I’ve got Big, HUGE, AMAZING, crazy news: In 2 days I’m moving to Australia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ok, got that off my chest haha! So I will be very honest in this post and tell you a bit of what my life has been like and why you haven’t heard as much from me in the last couple years and tell you what’s happening in the near future. There are two main reasons that I haven’t focused as much on my own Kayla Williams music. I put no blame on anyone but myself because despite these things, I could have found the time to keep working hard on my originals and covers.

    1) I got involved with a musical/comedy project called The Dirrty Show. It’s me and my best friend writing songs about everything dirrty- mostly sexual topics. This may seem shocking to those of you who don’t know me but for anyone who has met me you’d know my mind is so far down in the gutter I don’t think it could find it’s ways out! We’ve pursued this project with much vigor, recording and producing an album ourselves to booking tours all over Canada from B.C to Toronto. We played shows almost every weekend of the last 2 years and have gained many contacts and fans along the way. I love it! I love to entertain and let me tell you, our band is entertaining, making people laugh is as addictive as making music and I’ve been doing both since I was young. So this was a huge time commitment, we spent so much time writing almost 50 original songs, playing, recording, booking, networking that I got lost in it. Again, I love doing it and we’re still pursuing it, but I wish I would have spent some more time on my music.

    2) I was in a long term relationship from the ages 17-25 and during this time I had a partner who helped me immensely with learning how to record my own music, make videos and help me in the terrifying and confusing world of technology haha! He had a bachelor in computer science and also went to college for music as the same time I did. Now, as it can happen, we grew apart. You change a lot from 17-25, I went from being a kid to an adult and despite the love there, it didn’t work out. Luckily, we remain good friends and he is still a supportive person in my life. I then got into another semi-long term relationship for the last 2 years. I won’t go into great detail but we just didn’t mesh. As much as I loved him and tried very hard to make it work, this past August I decided after much pain to call it quits but I also gained another friend. Now, again I put the blame on no one but myself, I got lost in love and forgot about my first love-music!

    Now here we are. Present day. For the last 3 months I found something- me and music! I feel like 17 yr old Kayla in ways, but with much more experience and knowledge about her. I rediscovered many songs I had wrote and half recorded for the last 2 years and also found a lot of inspiration to write again! So for the past month I hiked up my hard-ass working pants and recorded 14 songs- 12 originals and 2 covers. I’m calling it “14 in 14″- self explanatory I hope (even though we’re almost at 2015, these were all songs of the past yr mostly). So get ready YouTube I be uploading like a motha in the next 2 days! After that I’ll be on a plane headed to Australia where I’ll be living temporarily. Australia you ask? Yes that’s right and here’s a list of reasons why:

    -It’s fucking cold here! I live in Alberta, Canada and lemme tell you, minus 30 celsius is no way to live I’ve been dreaming of sunny California since I was a kid and while I’m not going there, it’s currently summer in Aus. (Almost) one year of my life without winter will soon be crossed off my bucket list!

    -As mentioned above, I’m in a comedy duo and everywhere we play people say “Go to Australia they will LOVE you down there, they are so filthy” and so we listened. We will play as much as we can and I am very curious and excited about the reception we’ll have there

    -The visa I got can only be attained from the ages 18-30. Now I’m no elder but I’m not getting younger and the time to do something like this is NOW or never-literally!

    - Now this is a very recent reason, I am currently single for the first time in a long time and I can think of nothing healthier for a late 20 something gal to do at this time, but go find out who she is with a crazy life changing adventure and good friends by her side.

    Travel isn’t something I’ve had the privilege of doing a lot of, but I worked hard so I can go on this trip. To live on the other side of the world and gain some perspective on life, meet brand new friends and play music is like a dream come true- I can’t wait to see where it takes us! So there you have it, my life in a nutshell. I hope you’ll listen to my new music and send me your comments, the support from everyone is always deeply appreciated. The thought of leaving and letting these songs just sit on my computer made me ill so out to the world you go little tunes- be gentle!
    (Here’s the playlist for all 14 songs: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfq_RjFf-nzKlqwuA8UDKq_C9t9zUiNiq )

    See you on the other side!
    Ssmiley Ssmile

    (Here are 2 originals, “Better Leave” pretty much sums up this post)

    In The Rearview

    Better Leave

    Loud & Proud

    2014 - 09.30

    I happen to be LOUD. I happen to have a naturally loud speaking voice, loud singing voice and an even louder drunk voice. I also have almost no filter, I say what’s on my mind no matter how crude or brash it may be. These are things I’ve come to know about myself. I have always had a boat load of confidence, not really sure where it came from but I’ve always been myself and shown it off no matter the social situation. Having said this, it doesn’t mean I’m accepted without question-especially by men. I’ve struggled my whole life trying to embrace my weirdness knowing it’s not necessarily attractive to the opposite sex. I love that I’m not the typical girl who just giggles shyly and agrees with anything a boy says OR who spreads my legs like butter at every opportunity presented to me. I do the opposite. At halloween or costume parties I opt for the fat man with a beard over the bunny with her tits out. When I meet people for the first time I may over share and mention that I can’t go out for a coffee date cuz it makes me shit within minutes (True. Turns out coffee is a diuretic. Why does no one mention this?!)
    None of these are overly attractive qualities. So why must I continue to act in such a way?
    This is what I know. People on the surface are often not always who they fully are on the inside. I understand there is a time and place, at work of course you have to be professional. What I don’t understand is why most people put on their “social personality”, put on a polite smile and not show who they are in public.

    When I was dating my first boyfriend ever I pretended to LOVE Lord of the Rings, said I had read the books and it was my favorite even though I never had- just because it was HIS favorite.
    (It actually is one of my favorite books and hands down favorite movie series NOW but that’s besides the point).
    Why did I lie? I wanted him to like me. That’s a trivial example but in the past there are countless examples of where I changed parts of my personality so someone might like me more. I went through phases where I tried to be quiet and pretty. Calm and aloof. I did it because I thought it would make people like me more- not just men- everyone. I thought for a time if I could just change that part of my personality people would like me more. Problem was, I couldn’t do it! Every time I’m in a social situation, I like to talk. And talk. And talk. And be loud and tell ridiculously personal and funny anecdotes. It’s me. I’m an extrovert and I can’t hide it and frankly, I don’t want to. I could put on a facade and be someone else on the surface when I’m out and about but what good comes of it? I suppose temporarily not annoying people haha but when someone would get to know me they would realize that’s just not who I am. Maybe they would be surprised and unhappy to discover this extroverted side. Maybe they wouldn’t like my faux personality from the start and never take the time to get to know me better. I don’t know and I guess I’ll never know.

    I suppose my point is if we were all more ourselves around each other I feel we’d be happier and healthier for it.
    I’ve come to accept the fact that I’m crazy! Nut balls! Some people will never like me. That’s ok. Some people will love me. Even better.
    At least I’ll be me and from the get go and anyone who meets me will know the real me too.

    So when I stop writing this I’ll likely go play some music and sing really loud, then dance around my place a bit to some ridiculously way too pop music while I get ready, then I may go play with my dogs and make loud scream/yodeling noises so they howl with me LOL I know for a fact my neighbors can hear me. Know what? I don’t care!

    ~Ssmiley Ssmile!~ :D

    Odds & Ends

    2014 - 05.10

    May already. I have a hard time wrapping my head around how fast time moves and seems to get faster all the time. Summer is right around the corner, right on our fingertips but of course it feels like fall. I tell ya, Canada seems to have longer winters every year- I don’t know what happened to global warming. Tis a gorgeous day today though, even if it’s not hot out the sun sure makes the day.

    I have been working like a mad woman, have about 50 students and it’s almost the end of the teaching year so lots of prep work for their recital. We’ve also been working at planning a tour out to Toronoto/Montreal. It’s been far more challenging than expected but it will be completely worth it to play out there. Even if we only book a couple gigs we’ll hit up every open mic possible and get ourselves out there. Really looking forward to touring life again. I quite enjoy being on the road, not having any steady place to be but constantly experiencing new things. I love meeting people at shows and I can’t wait to see parts of our country that I’ve never been too- especially in July- bring on the hot heat and sweat and humidity, that’s where I thrive!

    It’s gonna be a summer full of music! After we get back from T.O we will play around home for a bit and then head to the interior of B.C again to play a few shows and even do a houseboat show! Touring is like a working vacation. It certainly doesn’t feel like work for me, performing is where I feel the greatest. Hauling equipment around and navigating is the work but it’s an adventure :)

    It will truly be a new chapter in my life as well as I’ll be technically ‘homeless’ this summer ha! Just won’t have a permanent residence to pay bills and call home for the first time in my life, but we won’t be home long enough to warrant needing that. Plus I have lots of friends (and parents) that I can crash with if need be. Life will be a bit unpredictable for me in this new chapter, no set plan just riding the wave. This for me is not normal. I went from being very young with a mortgage and a long term relationship to being ‘independent’ for the first time. Now it is kind of scary to not have some of these things that I’ve always had but I’m not scared. I know now that I’m smart enough to figure out whatever life throws my way and that everything tends to work out one way or another.

    Really what could be better than playing music and enjoying the sunshine? Sounds kinda perfect to me

    Ssmiley Ssmile :D